After graduating from university I jumped into the middle of capitalism. I entered the fund just after the Lehman Brothers collapse. Back then, the market was like a place where people were fighting over rotting flesh. Everyone was like a starving beast, with survival as the only goal.
From there, he experienced homelessness and entered the start-up world as an engineer, I've been part of some successes. But now, almost 20 years later, I look back and think, Nothing has changed from my university days.
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Instead, the last 20 years were like amnesia. I was trying to prove myself in the numbers and in the market. I was living in the eyes of others and measuring my value in KPIs and ARR. But now I think. There is no point in proving yourself in numbers. I didn't need to prove myself that much to anyone in order to survive.
What was really needed, Outside the symbol of money, I think what was really needed was a strong 'ego' that was not taken in by the numbers.
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There is a song in Radiohead called 'Packt Like Sardines in a Crushd Tin Box'. When I listened to this song for the first time in a long time, I realised that nothing has changed in 20 years. We were crushed in the same box then and we are crushed in the same box now.
These words, repeated in the lyrics, sticks more now than it did 20 years ago. At the end of efficiency and optimisation, We're back in the same place again.
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I feel like I'm finally waking up from a long period of amnesia. People can live in numbers, but, "We can't live in numbers. And we are, I am finally beginning to remember what I wanted.