99% of Us Are Trash! But That's OK. Box
- Chewing Candy for the Discarded Majority😅
- Thank you F*cking this world!!
- The 99% Club : We trip, we fail, we dance again.
- Life threw us away, let's at least have fun.
Welcome to the 99% Club — population: all of us. You weren't "left behind." You were simply never supposed to win a game designed for 1% of people. This box is a celebration of the beautiful, chaotic, mediocre majority. Packed with chewy candy for the discarded, the overlooked, the "not exceptional" — a.k.a. the ones who actually make life interesting. Because being "trash" isn't an insult. It's freedom. Trash doesn't have deadlines, KPIs, or self-help books screaming "be better." Trash just exists. Happily. Quietly. Unbothered. Your worth was never in your output anyway. So chew, laugh, and enjoy the liberation of not needing to impress a single soul. Mediocrity is underrated. Let's celebrate it.
For You If…
- You've given up trying to be "elite," and honestly… it feels amazing.
- You're tired of pretending you're crushing life on social media.
- You secretly love low expectations.
- You've ever thought: "Maybe being average is actually the final form of happiness."
- You want a box that doesn't judge you — because it's trash too.
Version History
| Version | Package | Published |
|---|---|---|
| 1 month ago | ||
Release Notes
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The Unproductive Global Team
We Are Hiring (Everyone)
Position: VP of Doing Nothing (Remote / Nap-time only)
Requirements: Zero motivation. Ability to breathe.
Perks: A fake job title for your LinkedIn & permission to rot.
Apply Instantly: No resume needed.
Your mission: Do absolutely nothing. Get your official Employee ID, hack your resume, and turn your current office into a nap zone.
Issue Your ID Card →Unproductive Effects
This candy helps you waste 8–12 minutes per piece, giving your brain a legally acceptable micro-vacation.
During chewing, your ability to "care about work" drops by 97%, while your inner calm rises by "who knows, but it feels better."
Not a supplement. Not productivity. Just a tiny rebellion you can taste.
Purchase
Shipping: $9 (we cover the rest)